The Excitement of Life*
by John Lawson © 1993, 2010
With respect to life, each individual may be considered an
authority. This is true, since each person is in touch - to one
extent or another - with his or her own needs and experience. In
spite of the immediacy of personal experience, however, meaning and
fulfillment in life frequently prove elusive. While,
superficially,
human beings may direct their actions and thoughts to specific ends
with seeming enthusiasm, much evidence suggests that a gnawing sense of
emptiness and futility commonly lurks beneath the surface of
awareness. An underlying feeling of malaise regularly hides in
the shadows. Life is felt to be a dreary business, and only a
mask of pretense appears capable of concealing the dark truth from
oneself and others. Such is the state of affairs described by
many writers as characteristic of contemporary experience. In
this context, it may appear naive to assert the view that life is
essentially and fundamentally exciting. Nonetheless, I believe
that this is the case.
To equate life with excitement is not to identify superficial
experiences of diversion, fun, entertainment, or merriment as the stuff
of existence. On the contrary, what is at issue is the nature of
life as an excitatory process. Without excitation, there is no
movement. We know this to be true in terms of biological
activity. There is a characteristic pulsatory behavior that can
be seen in the multitude of diverse life forms. This is
observable in the cytoplasmic streaming of plant tissue as well as in
the undulations of protozoa. The cells of the human body pulsate
in a state of continuous agitation, a fact which has been so clearly
described by Joseph Hoffman in his book The Life and Death of Cells.
Just as the cells of the human body expand and contract in an
alternating rhythm, the organs and organ systems also pulsate.
The heart beats, the digestive tract undulates, and the great
diaphragmatic muscle - similar in its dome-like appearance to a
jellyfish - moves in a constant state of rhythmicity, propelling the
respiratory process. Indeed, the respiratory process itself is
the most obvious and unmistakable instance of pulsation in human
beings. It is in the alternating inhalation and exhalation of
breathing that the tissues are supplied with the oxygen necessary to
vital functioning. Good breathing and the excitement of life go
together.
While all life involves some degree of excitation, it is true that we
do not always find it "exciting" to be alive. This is one of the
problems which human beings face. Life can be dull and full of
despair as well as joyful and stimulating. We all know the
difference between being depressed and being excited. There is a
different quality to the two states of experience. What is
sometimes overlooked is that there is also a quantitative factor
involved. When we are excited, we have more energy than when we
are depressed. If this higher level of energy is functioning in a
relatively uninhibited and graceful manner, we experience
pleasure. Our bodily processes run smoothly, and we sense in
ourselves a condition of well-being. We are literally "set in
motion," which is what the word "excited" means. Correspondingly,
our spirits are lifted. While we may naturally be expected to
enjoy the added excitement that stimulating events and circumstances
can bring to our existence, the fundamental and enduring basis of our
excitement is the free-flowing excitation that is at the root of our
being. It is the presence of this basic excitement - identical
with life itself - that makes the exciting events in our lives
meaningful.
What are we to say, then, of the compulsive search for excitement and
the addiction to violent stimulation that are so characteristic of our
contemporary society? The irony is that the pervasive
overstimulation which is prevalent in modern culture reflects a lack of
genuine excitement in being alive. If we are in touch with the
natural excitement of life, we do not need the blasting stereo, the
ubiquitous computer devices, the relentless competition, the incessant
turmoil in relationships, or the countless other elements that are
intended to compensate for an inner sense of numbness and
deadness. There is no substitute for life, and all of these
measures are doomed to failure. Beneath the surface, hiding in
the background, is the despair that is the true register of the lack of
genuine excitement in being alive. At a fundamental level, this
lack of excitement is anchored in the diminished and disturbed
excitation that accompanies restricted breathing.
Breathing is a basic biological activity. Unfortunately, holding
one's breath - which is a basic response to prolonged anxiety - is a
widespread contemporary occurrence. Naturally, a person does not
completely cease to breath, or death would result. Respiration,
however, can be greatly curtailed without immediately jeopardizing
survival. What is jeopardized is the excitement of being
alive. Typically, functional restrictions in respiration, as
Wilhelm Reich pointed out, begin during the period of early
childhood. Such restrictions are tied to characteristic patterns
of structural imbalance resulting from chronic muscular tensions which
may be seen as a form of defensive armoring. The function of
such armoring of the organism is to control anxiety. This is
accomplished by means of limiting the degree of excitation that is
tolerated.
Essentially, one deadens the excitement of life in order to dilute
anxiety. What results from such a situation, often as not, is a
desperate attempt to find some excitement that can be externally
induced in order to compensate for the inner emptiness that exists in
the depth of experience.
To say that people are shadowed by a sense of futility and plagued by a
lack of genuine excitement in life does not mean that some primordial
curse is lodged within the human soul. Rather, life fails to be
exciting because the basic excitatory processes in the personality are
held at bay. The inevitable counterpart of this situation is
the presence of unresolved inner conflicts and unacknowledged degrees
of anxiety. Though the way to recovering and restoring the
genuine excitement of being alive may be a difficult one, fraught with
resistance, it is not mysterious. The excitatory function of deep
breathing must be revived; and anxiety must be confronted, clarified,
and dissipated. This means that the personal structure of the
individual
must be reorganized so that a higher level of excitement can be
contained and tolerated. When this is accomplished, life
finds its place in the human spectrum as adventure, with the ups and
downs that inevitably characterize any adventure. The promise of
easy living and the despair of broken promises dissolve into the simple
excitement of being alive.
*This article appeared originally in the March, 1993
issue of
Transformation Times.
It is reprinted here with a few minor revisions.
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